Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
