I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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