Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
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He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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