i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
