i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
