Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize