A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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