last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
