I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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