Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish there were birth control emojis
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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