I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
