covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
