You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
