Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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