my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
