While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
