The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
