I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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