If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
