these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
