This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
