I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
