I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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