best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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