the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
