Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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