My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
