"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
they're like a gay fantastic four
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
