If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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