I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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