He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
