apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
