Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
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