You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
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Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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