the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
