sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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