I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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