scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We had to coat check the pizza.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
