Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
