I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
