I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
