she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
