yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
