He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
