last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
