Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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