): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
