your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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