Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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