the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
