trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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