She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Randomize
