One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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