god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
