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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business

  Fav 2 1717 715

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.

  Fav 34 4864 1028

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me

  Fav 50 1256 3916

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.

  Fav 156 1609 2987

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism

  Fav 8 4599 1465

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.

  Fav 12 5521 1076

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

  Fav 3 717 1660

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• (254): View more from Texas

  Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.

  Fav 8 1138 1460

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  25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

  Fav 4 1646 781

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.

  Fav 3 530 903

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me

  Fav 2 1094 495

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• (714): View more from California

  I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?

  Fav 3 169 311

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