I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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