you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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