Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
