Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  oh yeah... my b.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): i need a penis for penetration, you wont do. (1-248): oh yeah... my b. http://tfl.nu/ib6g
  Replies (1) Good night (895) Bad night (1237)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Ew, did you brush them again?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush (703): Ew, did you brush them again? (301): Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure http://tfl.nu/kwwh
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (1352)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She'll never know what hit her

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She'll never know what hit her (1-703): I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact. http://tfl.nu/fbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1855) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus. http://tfl.nu/zy6a
  Replies (37) Good night (4841) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark http://tfl.nu/z2dx
  Replies (27) Good night (7235) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets. http://tfl.nu/zt9l
  Replies (12) Good night (640) Bad night (4935)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store http://tfl.nu/cjt7
  Replies (23) Good night (10583) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls. http://tfl.nu/2hrl
  Replies (30) Good night (10650) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (413): The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again. http://tfl.nu/v6ko
  Replies (19) Good night (8090) Bad night (1502)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted. http://tfl.nu/qkeh
  Replies (1) Good night (1144) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible. http://tfl.nu/g067
  Replies (5) Good night (974) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again. http://tfl.nu/lp5f
  Replies (6) Good night (1799) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything. http://tfl.nu/71ow
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency http://tfl.nu/hlej
  Replies (5) Good night (535) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (980): I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle. http://tfl.nu/hjcy
  Replies (7) Good night (659) Bad night (305)

Randomize