I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
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And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
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Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.