what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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