he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
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