We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
