Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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