If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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