R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
