uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
