girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
